L I F E

I don't know where to start, where to leave and start over, all over again. This feeling is empty. An excruciating pain that leaving me numb and anesthetized by the overflowing emotion. Tears flowing down my face on every sleepless night. Why am I here, placed in such agony? Your images scattered all our the thought and I couldn't help but remembering. Forgetting couldn't be this torturous and never this hard. 

Freedom is all I have until what I feel is a severe loneliness tormenting my soul, brought me down hitting rock bottom. I am broken, imperfect, damaged and torn. Is this world even true to myself? Where am I going? I am lost, between the road, I am clueless. Sitting in a corner, alone and lonely witnessing what had happened, silently screaming and burst out howling.

This pain is for myself, a consequence of choices. And now my life is fragmented and flawed, the scars won't leave and healing would drag me to another part of throbbing journey. How can I make use of this sorrow? Pulling something good out of sadness? Continue living with broken pieces, pretending to be strong and keep ignoring the fact of life.

If staying strong was the only option, I refuse to be strong. If loneliness was the consequence I have to face, I carry on in denial.

-Kamal Effendi

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I love his writing! Especially on this one. He really did explains everything that I couldn't. Indeed, i couldn't find any words to describe what i'm feeling right now, until i found this. Maybe not all of it, but at least 90% of what's inside me was all written in that beautiful post from this young gentleman. :')

Hmmm.. Life's hard though. Must keep going. Chin up and smile to the sun. :D